


Normandy Downtimes

by MyTenderMadness



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Commander Shepard - Freeform, Hotel Sex, John Shepard - Freeform, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Porn, Porn With Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 09:36:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12554536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyTenderMadness/pseuds/MyTenderMadness
Summary: When Shepard said, he didn't need long on Omega, and the rest of the crew should consider this a small shore leave, he didn't expect to get an call in the middle of the night from a strange bartender, asking him to pick up his crew mate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Currently it's mostly just porn, but who knows, maybe it'll turn into something else. but hey, if it didn't, still enjoyable, I suppose.

**Mission Omega**

  
Shepard is humbling down the corridor, with Kaidan in his arms and pulling him down to the ground.

  
When Shepard said, he didn't need long on Omega, and the rest of the crew should consider this a small shore leave, he didn't expect to get an call in the middle of the night from a strange bartender, asking him to pick up his crew mate. It was quite unusual to see the always so controlled Major drinking that much and pulled so much booze down to him in such a short time that made Shepard want to know if they should have an official conversation about his drinking habits. He knew the Major liked to knock back a drink before retiring, but getting shit-faced alone on Omega really seamed out of character for him.

  
Shepard made an mental note to check up on him tomorrow. Usually there was a bigger underlying issue if crew starts to look for answers in a bottle. Maybe he shouldn't be too harsh with him, after all, he enjoyed a few drinks tonight himself.  
He heaved Kaidan up and put his arm across his should. “C'mon, big boy. Back to the ship.”

  
The Major tried to refuse the help, but as he lost his footing right away, he let Shepard navigate him out of the bar. Kaidan was not a small man, he noticed, as he dragged him down the corridor of Omega back to the docking bay. His skin was burning as he had put most of weight onto Shepard now.

  
Kaidan reeked of a disgusting mix of synthetic juice and fake booze, but underneath that layer of smell, Shepard can make out that mix of sweat and gunpowder. What a welcoming smell, he thought, as Kaidan put both his arms around Shepard's neck as he lost his footing again. Somehow Shepard had the feeling, they're not gonna make it back to the Ship. Omega was a big station.

  
“Just let me sleep here, I’m perfectly fine.” Kaidan took away his arms from Shepard and leaned against a cold metal wall. He swayed left to right a bit and then drop to the floor along the wall. “I'm sorry, Commander. Didn't intend to drink that much.”

“I would have questioned your good judgement, if you planned this.” Shepard sighed. “C'mon. There is a hotel down the corridor, I can put you up there for the night.”

“You should let me go with that Asari.” Kaidan let his body fall into Shepard’s arm and nodded. “She was hot and… interested!”

  
“Yes, but I’m afraid she was more interested in your credits!” Shepard was glad, he could convince Kaidan to leave and he had to literally pulled Kaidan out of the girl’s throat, Kaidan was too horny to notice the thief.

  
Shepard must admit the disappointment, when we walked into the shady bar, seeing Kaidan sitting crossed legged on the fake-leather couch and an Asari stripper on top of him. Ever since Kaidan came on board a few weeks ago, Shepard couldn't stop thinking about him. He knew he had desired Kaidan since the first day they've met and after that unspeakable event in the shuttle before they flew out to Eden Prime, neither of them had done anything that could go beyond normal friendship.

  
But now, so close to the end, as he could feel it, he wondered if he should do something about his secret desire.

  
_Stop it, John. You don't even know what you want._ Shepard reminded himself. _Don't be a creep_.

  
“Here we go!” Shepard pulled out their room key and opened the door. “Try not to fall.” He leaned Kaidan carefully on the wall, while he was trying to open the door, although sober than Kaidan, but also not enough to stick in the key card correctly. On the third attempt, John unlocked the door and with a gentle push the door opened and the dirty and tiny room they have to stay for the night gave them a shabby welcome.

  
The room was dark; some of the ceiling lights had failed to turn on automatically when they walked in. The light blockers in front of the windows were half broken and let the busy street light of Omega inside. A narrow corridor led them to the so called bedroom which was practically an area on the apartment with a two man size mattress on the ground. Shepard sighed, thinking of he could sleep in his soft bed if Kaidan got himself shit-faced.

  
Shepard arranged the almost unconscious Kaidan through the room and placed him on the bed. Kaidan breathed deep and moaned. “It’s hot in here!” he said and started to open his shirt with one hand.

  
Yes it was really hot in the room; the air conditioning seemed had not worked for at least couple weeks. Shepard wanted to try to find something to help the heat, but gave up after couple steps. He leaned against the wall and looked down to Kaidan, struggling with his shirt. When Kaidan realized he couldn’t manage to take off his shirt, he turned his attention to his pants and tried to get rid of that.

  
“Shepard, is it just me…” Kaidan closed his eyes and leaned deeper into the pillow on the bed. “Or is it really hot in here?”

  
Shepard swallowed. He couldn't make up his mind, if he wanted to see Kaidan undressed or if he should escape the room and give him some privacy. It's not that he hadn't seen Kaidan's body before, back on the SR-1, after missions, the changing area was always terribly crowded and the desire to get out of the bloody armour mostly meant, that all of them stripped there and then, disregard any concerns for nakedness. But this was different. This was a vulnerable moment, where Kaidan was so intoxicated, that his good judgement had left him a while ago.

  
“No… yes…well…” Shepard shook his head. “The air conditioning is not working.”

  
“I need to get out of this!” Kaidan mumbled and turned around on the bed, but somehow he just got himself twisted more and more. “Lend me your hand, Shepard…”

  
“What…?” Shepard responded surprised.

  
The drunken man turned on his belly and wanted to give his shirt another try and again he failed.

  
“I’ll get you a glass of water!” Shepard needed to get out there. He couldn't continue to watch Kadian twist himself in the sheets, being so desirable as he was, and most of it, it was so easy to touch him now. There will be no resistance, no scruple and hell, Kaidan might not even remember it.

  
Shepard walked out of the room and moved into the bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror and listened to his own heart bumping. He was nervous, exited and so turned on by Kaidan.

  
Ever since he saw Kaidan hosing down his armour in the bay a few days ago, bare-chested and barefooted, he couldn't stop dreaming about him. His skin were darker than before, he must had been deployed to a few hot planets in the last couples years and he was more confident than before. He moved more comfortable with himself, joking and laughing with Steve and James. He had fantasised unwillingly so many times about Kaidan in the last few days, that just the memory of it made Shepard's move react.

  
Pictures of him sitting on Kaidan’s lap and with his tongue deep in Kaidan’s throat came into his mind and Shepard almost thought, he could taste his skin and smell his scent in that moment. Shepard was filled with desire to tough the man next door, screaming for his company and fighting the thought of Kaidan embracing him, kissing him and …

  
_Stop it, John!_ He warned himself again. _This is most inappropriate. Taking advantage of a drunken man is basically rape, stop it._

  
It took Shepard a few more minutes to calm down, and then he finally came back to the room with a glass of water.  
“Hey…there you are,” Kaidan smiled when he saw Shepard. “Thought you abandoned me…”

  
“Don’t rush!” Shepard helped Kaidan sat on the bed with pure strength and moved the glass to Kaidan’s lips. “Drink it!”

  
Kaidan swallowed the cold and clear water with such a greed Shepard wished to see himself being kissed by Kaidan with the same greed. After Kaidan finished the glass he moaned and started to undress himself again. The heat in the room is almost too much to take and Shepard was also sweating. He wanted to avoid touching Kaidan, as he could tell his willpower was fading, but other the other hand, he couldn't see his friend suffer.

  
“Hold still,” Shepard reached out and grabbed for the end of Kaidan’s shirt. “I’ll help you.”

  
Kaidan obeyed and looked at him with half closed eyes and heavy eyelids. “Should I help you, too?” He just sat on the bed and looked at him so innocent and tempting.

  
Shepard reached out his hand to touch Kaidan’s face. The roughness and the small wrinkles on his skin felt so warm and manly. It reminded him again of his affection for the strong gender and why he always felt for older man. He liked the feeling of time on their faces, the strength of their arms and the tight grab when they closed their hand around his neck. With his thumb Shepard stroke over Kaidan’s soft lips and again over his tiny scars on his upper lip. He had to resist just placing his own lips on his and feeling its heat.

  
“You should rest, Kaidan.” Shepard took his hand way from Kaidan’s face and wanted find somewhere else to sleep since Kaidan was lying cross the two mattresses, leaving no place for him. “Good night!” Shepard whispered and fled again into the bathroom.

  
He tried to make himself comfortable in the bathroom, but there was literally no space. His cock was still half-hard and Shepard decided to rest here for a while, until he had calmed himself before returning. He tried to think about his conversation with Aria tonight about business, checking a few mails, but no matter what he did on his omni-tool, he couldn't take his mind of Kaidan and his probably now sweater skin, spread open on that bed.

  
Shepard touched his manhood inside his pants and moaned when his fingers closed around it. But he decided not to satisfy himself because he knew, he would only support his infatuation and he couldn’t use any distraction on this mission. Shepard went back in the bedroom and wanted to make it comfortable on the floor. John entered the room and froze at the sight of Kaidan moving his hand up and down on his own swollen manhood.

  
Kaidan opened his eyes when he heard Shepard stepping into the room. He didn't stop as he saw Shepard rooted on the spot. He gave him a soft smile and got up from the bed. He was in front of Shepard within few steps and he grabbed Shepard shoulder and pushed him back on the wall.

  
“Kaidan!” Shepard gasped surprised. “What are you d...”

  
“Shhh, Commander! You’ll like it!” Kaidan cut him off and pulled Shepard shirt it off his body with any resistance.  
All his attempts to keep himself under control collapsed like a house of cards the moment he saw Kaidan’s naked body, heard his moaning and smelled his sweat. Shepard was lost, he was turned and he was a loose animal. Shepard knew he shouldn’t abuse Kaidan’s trust and take advantage of him in this moment, but he was still just a man - a man limited to his instincts.

  
Shepard opened his pants fast and pulled out his erection while Kaidan placed his lips and small kisses all around Shepard’s chest. He moved his lips down to Shepard’s belly and then up again to Shepard’s face. And then their lips joined and they kissed feverishly.

  
Kaidan was willing to give him everything and let him take everything. He opened his mouth and let Shepard explore his throat. He kissed his Commander with passion and desire, he bit his lips, he sucked on them and he licked them with pleasure.

  
Shepard could feel Kaidan’s strong hand behind his neck so he couldn’t do anything else but kiss. He had to force his lips away from Kaidan’s face to breathe and the Major close his other arm around Shepard’s waist and pulled him closer. He felt the huge cock of Kaidan’s in the moment their skin met and he could think about was dropping to his knees and take that into his mouth. Kaidan seemed to understand the longing in his eyes and stepped back for the Commander to kneel.

  
“Yes!” Kaidan moaned and stroke his fingers through Shepard’s short hair. And then he was fucking Shepard’s mouth as it pleased him. Shepard couldn’t talk, speak or even make a sound. Kaidan was so deep in his throat he only could close his eyes and enjoy the manhood of Kaidan’s. Shepard reached out his arms and stroke over Kaidan’s belly and back. He liked the feeling of hot and hard muscles under a layer of soft skin as Kaidan had it. He grabbed Kaidan’s ass and pressed his finger nails deep into his flesh.

  
“Fuck, Shepard!” Kaidan exclaimed out of joy and pulled himself out of Shepard’s mouth. He tumbled a little on his feed.

  
Shepard got on his feed again and caught Kaidan before he could felt. “Easy, Kaidan, easy. I got you.”

  
Kaidan breathed out and placed a small kiss on Shepard's lips. “Pace yourself, Commander. You can have anything you want, tonight.”

 

Then their lips met again, while their hands touched each other. Kaidan was still quite skillful given his state of intoxication, not he was complaining. They stopped occasionally to look each other in the eyes. Shepard could see small sparks in Kaidan's eyes and how those blind desire mesmerized him.

  
Kaidan pushed Shepard back to the wall and whispered. “I want fuck you, John!”

  
Shepard obeyed immediately and turned around. He pulled his own pants to his knees and covered his entry with saliva. And he was barely ready, Shepard felt Kaidan’s warm hands on his skin. He could feel the soft kisses in his neck and Kaidan’s lips were burning hot on his skin. Shepard pushed his butt against Kaidan’s erection and moaned as he felt the size rubbing against his hole, teasing him without entering.

  
“Do something Kaidan!” Shepard demanded while Kaidan is teasing him with his dick. “Or I’ll charge at you!”

  
“You want it?” Kaidan thrust against Shepard’s butt without entering him.

  
“Oh god, Kaidan! I want I!” Shepard gasped and hissed. “Do it!”

  
“Oh I will!” Kaidan reached out his hand and placed it around Shepard’s dick. “I will fuck you! Fuck you tender… fuck you hard and fuck you like hell…”

  
“Oh, yes, do it…” Shepard moaned loudly and sank his fingers deep into the wall. Kaidan moved his hand up and down and as Shepard grunted. He stroke Shepard’s body while pleasing him with his hand. And then he covered Shepard’s entry with saliva again and made his way to the depth of Shepard’s body.

  
An ecstasy went through Shepard’s entire body and his knees bare could hold him upright. To feel the strength of Kaidan rush through him and carried the thrill all the way to his teeth made him tremble. He hold his breath for a few seconds just so didn't spread his seed right away. In the meantime, Kaidan was focus on getting deeper and pounded him mercilessly.

  
“Oh fuck, Kaidan!” he moaned when Kaidan scratched his back.

  
Shepard was on the edge and lust and pain, it had been so long since he had company for the last time and he couldn't even remember the last time he was so overwhelmed by pleasure it made him scream. The Major surely was no stranger to the art of love and he knew how to move himself to satisfy another and find pleasure in his own act. Shepard grunted and panted in the rhythm of their act, and the breathless moans of Kaidan filled the room.

  
Shepard flared blue and things started to move in the room when he was approaching the peak of lust.

  
“C'mon, pace yourself, Commander” Kaidan demanded it when he felt Shepard’s body was announcing the upcoming point. “You are going to come with me!”

  
“I … can’t!” Shepard gasped and punched his fist against the wall. “I can’t hold it!”

  
“You will!” Kaidan slowed down his movement of his hand and pulled himself out.

  
“Don’t stop! Kaidan!” He reached out his hand for Kaidan’s manhood when Kaidan grabbed him and turn him around. Kaidan pressed his lips hard on Shepard’s and kissed him passionately again.

  
Then Kaidan picked Shepard up and tossed him on the bed before launching himself at him again with passionate kisses. There was the hunger and greed, that Kaidan displayed earlier. He was like an hungry animal, not knowing how not to lunge at his prey.

  
Shepard turned Kaidan over and crawled over him. He closed his arms around Kaidan while his tongue was exploring Kaidan’s mouth, face and neck. Shepard wanted to fuck Kaidan so hard that he beg for mercy. He spread Kaidan's legs and wanted to drag him towards him as Kaidan resisted. The rolled around the beg a little, kissing and grabbing, fighting for dominance, before Kaidan eventually emerged victorious.

  
“We're on the ground, Commander” Kaidan hissed in his ears. “Here, you obey me.”

  
“Yes, sir.” Shepard panted. He had no will power left, all he wanted to is to fuck now; regardless how. He just wanted to fuck with Kaidan, see that man moan again with his lips locked to his.

  
Kaidan spread himself on the bed and Shepard keeled over him. He guided Kaidan's cock again to his entrance and slowly sank down on him. Kaidan yanked his head back and exhaled loudly as Shepard took control.

  
“Come here, John” Kaidan moaned and twisted himself in the sheets. “I want you to look me in the eyes!”

  
Shepard rode Kaidan with all his love and his desire and while the lust went through his body. While Kaidan grabbed his pelvis and directed his movement Shepard could forget the world and all its danger and pain. There was no limit, no pain and no end. He was complete in what he was doing and all he wanted to let himself be possessed by his dreams.

  
Shepard’s slender and muscles body moved up and down and every time his body slammed into Kaidan’s he was on step closer again to his peak.

  
“Kaidan! I’m coming!”

  
“Come for me!” Kaidan whispered loudly, shaking a little while he was approaching the climax himself. He placed his hand around Shepard’s cock and wand it hard and fast.

  
“Oh fuck Kaidan!” Shepard sat on Kaidan and shook his entire body when the unloaded his essence in Kaidan’s hand and Kaidan seems to like it so much, he raised his pelvis and pushed against Shepard one more time and Shepard could feel a shot of hotness inside him.

  
“Oh God! John! John!” And with a long moan Kaidan felt back into the sheets.

  
Shepard leaned forward and kissed Kaidan softly.

  
“I love you, Kaidan!” Shepard whispered into Kaidan’s ear and before he could expect an answer he heard Kaidan breathing deeply and long. That bastard just fell asleep.


	2. Overtime

**Overtime**

  
“Commander, do you have a minute?” Kaidan’s message blinked on his communicator. Shepard checked the sender twice and then hesitated if he should respond.

“Sure, what can I do for you?” He typed on his console and sent it.

“Can we talk in private?” Kaidan’s message came in couple seconds later.

Shit! Shepard thought. He wants to talk about Omega. Fuck! I knew this would happen! Why were you so stupid and so week?

“I’m alone here. Come over.” Shepard rode back and closed the War asset list he was reviewing. Although he kind of wanted to avoid Kaidan, but the prospect of talking to him alone, in a dimly lit room made him more excited than he should.

“On my way.” Kaidan's message blinked.

Shepard’s heart started to beat faster and he couldn’t stop looking at the door, picturing Kaidan walking through it any moment. He didn't even realize that he was adjusting his BDU and zipping his hoodie a little lower, until he saw his movement in the shiny surface of the console and stopped right away.

Stupid fuck! He scolded himself. Stop that shit! You're the commander on board!

He had been wondering when Kaidan would decide to talk to him again. Ever since he woke up in the hotel room on Omega alone, he didn’t have occasion and time to talk to Kaidan in private and it seemed the major was avoiding him. And now he was glad it was Kaidan who made the first step of resumption of their communication.

Few minutes later Kaidan stepped through the door and Shepard gave him the warmest smile he had before looking like a fool.

“I don’t want to occupy your time too much, Commander…” Kaidan started and turned few times for the door to make sure no one comes in. Shepard sensed he was uncomfortable with the War room and showed him the way to the vid comm and Kaidan walked ahead.

“Would this be private enough for you?” Shepard said when he stepped in the long distance communicator room.

“It’s fine…” Kaidan answered and then shifted from one foot to another. “Shepard, I’ve been thinking… you know, about the night on Omega… when I heard they had whiskey on that station and I went out... It kind if got out of hand and I know someone picked me up from the bar and put me in a hotel to sober up. And...”

“I thought you’ll come up with it sooner or later.” Shepard took the cue. He smiled and leaned against the console. “The bartender called me, knew the Normandy was the only Alliance vessel docked at the Station. I picked you up and put you in that hotel.”

“Oh, thanks for that!” Kaidan sounded sincere with his gratitude but somehow there was some worry in his voice again. “… Didn’t know how to approach that, since I didn't know for sure… and sorry about it… I was… ”

“Drunk? Hell yes you were…” Shepard had to smile but when he saw the ashamed look on Kaidan’s face, he stopped. “But it was hell of a fun night…”

“Yeah? Was it?” Kaidan laughed. “I had different memories…”

“What kind of memories?”

“Well… it’s embarrassing… I usually don’t drink that much and I certainly don’t tent to lose control… and have someone pick me up…” Kaidan signed.

“It’s okay… I'll let you off this time.” The Commander smirked.

“I honestly didn't know what I was thinking?”

“Well, not entirely your fault. I did encourage the crew to loosen up a bit. And the Batarian shard wine was pretty cheap, I suppose.”

“Well I’ll not touch that again.” Kaidan laughed a little forced. “Well… I actually wanted to ask you something about that night. You know … because…” He walked around in the room, obviously trying to get the words out.

“Relax Kaidan!” Shepard stopped him and came closer to him. He put a hand of his shoulder to calm him. The Major relaxed a little and then looked Shepard in the eyes.

“You know… I kind of having trouble remembering anything of it…” He exhaled relieved and Shepard raised an eyebrow. “I remember sitting at the bar asking for whiskey … I don’t remember that much what I said… and then there was that Asari…”

“Yep… I remember that as well.” Shepard smiled and gave him an amused look.

“And I…” Kaidan walked away from Shepard and eventually turned around to him. “Did I have sex that night? You know because… I was dressed when I woke up but I kind of have few pictures in my head…”

“Yes major, you did!” Shepard tried not to laugh but then he had to smile.

“Oh god!” Kaidan gasped and leaned against the console. “Shepard, what exactly happened? And how did it happen?”

“Can you remember it at all?” Shepard came again closer to Kaidan.

“Not really. I have few pictures in my head. First I thought it was a dream first, but then I was wondering why I was dreaming about a random Asari dancer and… and you.” He finally said it whispering, hardly audible.

Shepard smiled wide and giggled. “You dreamed about me?”

“Kind of… I dreamed about me kissing that Asari and doing some pretty explicit stuff… with… with… you….” He then sighed loudly. “Now I’ve said it. God, it sounds so awkward! Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me I didn’t have sex with my CO.”

“Well, soldier.” Shepard stepped close to him, so close it was even inappropriate just for friends not to mention a soldier and his Commander. “I have to disappoint you, it wasn’t a dream. You made out with the Asari when you were drunk, but she was a thief and headed out for your credit card. I rescued you and we end up fucking.” Shepard couldn’t stop himself smirking at the memory of it. Somehow now, it amused him a lot. Kaidan blushed red like a tomato. “Kaidan, it’s such a shame you don’t remember it.”

“It won’t be better when I do! What was I thinking?” Kaidan said loud. “Fraternizing with my CO?”

“It’s not all on you.” Shepard reached out a hand to stroke Kaidan’s face. “I had a few myself. And you know what, Kaidan.” He whispered. “I liked it and I know you liked it, too.”

Kaidan looked up to Shepard. He smiled a little and then he reached out his hand to take Shepard’s away. “God, Shepard. You know this shouldn’t have happened…”

“Why?”

“Because…” He didn’t really know how to put it down to words. He hadn’t thought through the situation. In his head, Shepard would tell him, it was all a dream and that’s it. “Shepard, it’s not like I don’t like you. We obviously like each other. That’s hard enough. I’ve nothing against some flirts to brighten the mood.” Shepard smiled and Kaidan felt a little more encouraged. “But it’s just… it’s just you’re the Commander and I’m serving under you. I shouldn’t have sent those signals... and Alliance and fraternization rules and the war… I just don’t think it would work out… maybe we should just keep things professional and…”

Before Kaidan could finish his lines, Shepard had put a finger on his lips. “Shhh…. Don’t you dare friendzone… well colleague zone me! Kaidan, I knew what was doing that night and I was willing to do it, with you.”

Kaidan looked up at him. How he said those words had somehow woke up something in him. Slowly Kaidan straightened up and moved also closer to Shepard with his lips. Shepard gently put a hand on his waist and it felt good on him. It felt like the warmth he dreamed of and those pictures came back to his mind. Shepard leaned in for Kaidan to kiss and but right before their lips met, Kaidan backed off and turned around, supporting himself against the console.

“Sorry, Shepard. I really don’t think this is a good idea…” Kaidan said whispering.

“I think it’s an awesome idea!” Shepard moved closer to him. He placed his hands again on Kaidan’s waist and softly stroked him. “We are consensual adults. Why can’t we keep doing it when we both liked it? Unless you don't.”

“I didn't say that.” Kaidan signed again and hesitated a little before he spoke again. “You really liked it, didn’t you?”

“I really liked it.”

“Was it so good?” Kaidan turned around to look at the console, suddenly ashamed.

“You have no idea…”Shepard embraced Kaidan from behind and whispered it softly into his ears. “You were spectacular…” he stroke along Kaidan’s side and sank his head in Kaidan’s neck. “You were so sexy… the way you moved made me mad… and the smell of you… and whenever you passed me now…” Shepard gave Kaidan a soft kiss in his neck. “I can smell you… and it does things to me…”

Kaidan laughed with his husky voice and moaned. He leaned back a little and put on his head on Shepard’s shoulder. The Commander bit into his ear gently and kept whispering. “Kaidan… I liked your cock… ” His hand moved down on Kaidan’s body slowly and with his fingers, he softly stroke over Kaidan’s bulge, feeling he was also aroused by it. “I like the size of it… the smell of it… and the taste…hmmm” Shepard moaned.

Kaidan supported himself stronger to the console and breathed heavily when Shepard’s fingers played with him. “I didn’t figure you out for a bottom…” he laughed.

“I’m so much more than that…” Shepard’s hand tightened up on Kaidan’s crotch, making the major moan. The he pressed his hardened dick against Kaidan’s butt. “Let me show you a different side…” He grabbed Kaidan’s butt and pressed it hard against himself. He then slowly opened up Kaidan’s pants, putting a hand inside his pants.

When his fingers closed around Kaidan’s, he could feel Kaidan tremble. He moved his fingers up and down, first slowly and then hard and faster. Kaidan breathed heavily and moved his ass to satisfy Shepard. The vid comm room was filled with their choked moaning and silenced breaths. Shepard put his lips close to Kaidan’s ear, tenderly caressing his ear before starting whispering again.

“Do you like what I’m doing?” Shepard asked. Without waiting for Kaidan’s answer he continued. “Do you like to see you cock in my mouth? How I suck on it? Do you like the feel of it? How I scratch your back? How I bite you in the neck? Put my mark on you? Do you want to be inside me? Again?” Shepard pressed himself closer to Kaidan, rubbing his cock against Kaidan’s ass. “And now imagine this…” he tightened his fingers around Kaidan harder, wanking him fast. “Imagine me fucking you… put myself in you… hard… and strong…”

Kaidan moaned louder and gasped for air. His legs could barely hold him and he pressed himself harder against Shepard. He wanted to feel the thrust of Shepard and he wanted to have more. “I like it… I want it…” Kaidan whispered clenching his teeth together. “God… Shepard… I… ”

“Shhh…. You don’t have to talk… just listen… listen to my voice, my moaning… my grunting… my screaming… when I fuck you hard… when I fuck you in your tight ass… I know you like it…”

“I’ll like it…” Kaidan gasped.

“Do you want my cock inside you?”

“I do… Shepard… God!”

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Shepard pressed himself against Kaidan, still with his fingers around his cock.

“Shepard, I want you!” Kaidan grunted. “Shepard…. I’m coming…”

Shepard tightened his grip around him. “It’s John for you.” He whispered and then turned Kaidan’s face towards him for a kiss. “I want hear you say my name…”

“John…” Kaidan moaned between his kisses. They were so focused on their doing they didn’t hear the footsteps or see the vid comm blinking. It was when Kaidan came within Shepard’s grasp and trembled, Shepard heard the steps coming towards the vid comm. “Someone’s here.”

Shepard quickly took his hand out of Kaidan’s pants and turned around when Liara was already stepping into the room. She froze at the door and Shepard barely had time to hide his hand behind his back when Liara started talking.

“Shepard… I didn’t know you’re using the vid comm…” She looked over to Kaidan. “And Kaidan… I can come back later…”

“No… it’s okay…” Kaidan said. “I’m just finished… ehm… we just finished talking…”

“Right… we’re done anyway… and…” Shepard added and walked back towards the War room. “Liara, why are you not in bed?”

“I wanted to go through some blueprints with the Crucible scientist… I thought at this time the vid comm would be empty… I didn’t know you’re using it…” She looked at Shepard and back at Kaidan again. “Should I go?”

“No… take it…” Shepard said. “We should go.” He gave Kaidan a sign and they both walked out of the vid comm quickly, while Kaidan tried to navigate around Liara without her seeing the button of his BDU open.

Outside of the vid comm Kaidan walked straight for the door and Shepard returned to his console overseeing the war assets. He watched Kaidan walk out the door and turning back on him before he disappeared behind it. Shepard demonstrative raised his hand towards his mouth and sucked on it. Kaidan waited until he licked off whatever was still left on his finger and then disappeared behind the door with a smile.

Shepard wanted to focus on the list again, but he sensed someone was looking at him from the vid comm. He looked up and saw Liara staring at him, slowly shaking her head. She then walked over to him and leaned against the table. “The Vid comm? Seriously? Isn’t that why you have your own cabin?” She asked.

Shepard opened his mouth to answer but since he didn’t really know what to say he closed it again. Then he stroke over his lips again and turned to Liara. “Liara, he’s so cute!” Shepard said it in such a shining smile upon his face Liara actually looked surprised.

“I guess this is what you humans call “being in love”.” She said and smiled with him.


	3. heavenly silence

Shepard walked into the Purgatory just for a quick drink. Talking to the council about Spectre business is a pain in the ass and deep inside him, he just want drown all the problems in a bottle of beer. The famous and exquisite club on the Citadel might be just the right place for him to do so.

Entering the long corridor and already hearing the bass beat of the music had make his heart beat faster. He didn’t know why he was excited about it; it was in the middle of a work day, and he, the one who should be out there saving the galaxy had come to a place full of distraction of flesh and booze. He should be ashamed of himself, he thought for a short moment, but then he reminded himself, he was the Commander Shepard, he could do whatever he likes, and even it’s just sometimes to look for a beer.

 

Stepping at the bar and handed over his first beer in weeks, He started to feel the relaxation he looked for. He gazed at the jumping figures on the dance floor and he had to think of a very old song he had heard before. A mild and melancholic male voice praising a hotel in California and he sang “some dance to remember and some dance to forget”.  _ Yeah, it’s true _ , he thought.

 

Downed his first beer, Shepard turned to get another one, when a familiar face walked up to him, lascivious with a beer in his hands and sexually challenging in his walk.

“Commander,” the shuttle pilot said. “You made it, come have a drink.”

Shepard couldn’t deny this invitation. He had been looking at Steve for some time now, lend him a shoulder to his sorrow, and helped him to get back on his feet. Steve leaned at the bar and started talking about the yesterday and tomorrow; why he should appreciate the presence. Shepard must admit, only the half of what Steve said actually got to him. He was looking at his lips; his full and dark lips, that looked so soft it pumps the blood into his private parts. He gazed the ebony skin, so smooth like black satin and how the flickering lights reflected on it.

 

Steve kept talking and he heard himself answer, but those were not words of his mind. His mind was with Steve in a remote place, softly stroking his face before placing his own lips on his.  _ No, this is wrong.  _ Shepard thought.  _ I shouldn’t do this. This is not why I came here for!  _

_ No? _ Another voice called out in his mind and Shepard had to admit, maybe it was why he came here. He might tell himself he came for distraction and beer, but what could be a better distraction than let those strong arms hold him tight and explore the world of joy with him?

 

“And some of the eye candies in the crowd are not too shabby either.” Steve said and got Shepard’s attention.

Without himself carefully choosing his next words, he heard himself speak. “I’m hurt, why aren’t you looking over here.” _ This is up to no good. I should stop flirting. _ He thought right after he finished.

“Who said I’m not?” Steve voice was tender and the message behind his question were clear as the galaxy sky.

Listening to those soft words of affection and desire send picture through Shepard’s mind. He tried to make some brief conversation and in the next moment, he was following Steve on to the dance floor.

 

Dancing… the only thing he sucked at. And thinking of sucking, all he wanted in the moment was to suck on something big. He limped on the dance floor like a rhythm-dyslexic cripple and hoped it won’t affect how Steve was smiling at him. But the pilot didn’t pay attention of his mismatching moves to the music. He stared at him with his onyx black eyes and yet bright as a star and Shepard felt hard to resist such temptation. Slowly he placed a hand on Cortez shoulder, feeling his move and heat and then he saw himself coming closer to him.

 

Right before their lips met, Shepard opened his eyes and like to was directed by a invisible power, he had a glimpse of another man he desired. Kaidan was gazing back at them and just as their eyes met, he turned and walked away. Shepard backed off from Steve.

“This isn’t right...” He whispered and shook his head. “I can’t do this to you.”

Steve turned around and he saw what stopped Shepard. “So, Kadian. I thought was more going on between you guys than you showed.” He politely stepped back, letting Shepard’s hand fell from his shoulder. “I know the feeling of being left alone, I don’t want to do this to anyone else. Beside, it’s just a flirt, Commander.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. I...”

“We are good, Commander.” Steve smiled and gave Shepard a small claps. “You better be fast now, before he’s gone.” Steve made a gesture with his head towards the door and Shepard gave him an acknowledged smile before chasing after Kaidan.

 

Shepard caught up with Kaidan at the elevator. He stepped inside in the last open gab and stared at Kaidan.

_ I should say something. _ He thought.  _ What am I going to say? _ “Hey...” He heard himself saying.

“Hey...” Kaidan nodded and pressed the presidium button.

“Where are you up to?” Shepard asked like there was nothing.

“Shooting range.” Kaidan replied dryly.

“Shooting range, huh.” Shepard chuckled. “Me, too. I could shoot as much as you want.”

“Commander!” Kaidan grunted.

“What?” Shepard played the innocent. He waited for Kaidan to respond and when he didn’t, Shepard stepped closer. “Hey...” he started softly. “are you mad at me?”

“Mad at you?” Kaidan sat blunt. “Why should I be mad at you?”

The elevator door opened and Kaidan stepped out. Shepard followed him as far as he could, but two steps away from the door, he was stopped by a group of people, asking for help. He looked after Kaidan, how he walked determined to the Spectre Shooting Range. _ He’s definitely mad at me! _ Shepard thought. He tried to free himself from the people, telling them politely he’ll see what he could do. “I’ll try to help, but now, I have a Spectre to do… some Spectre business to do.” He correct himself and looked over to Kaidan, before he lost him out of sight. And he saw how Kaidan went up the stairs to the corridor, but not without turning back for him one more time.  _ That’s a good sign. _

 

When he finally arrived at the shooting range, Kaidan was emptying his rounds towards the target and based on how he fired, he was pissed. Shepard waited until Kadian finished his magazine before he joined him at his side.

 

“Did you take that as a reaper or is it supposed to be me?” Shepard quipped.

“I could shoot you if that’s what you want?” Kaidan reloaded his gun.

“You know what I want.” Shepard put on a flirty tone.

“Oh is that so? Do you know what you want?” Kaidan turned around to him.

“Oh I know!” Shepard nodded and stepped closer to Kaidan, slowly taking the gun out of his hand. “I know I want to be right here, next to you and do bad things with you. Things we are not suppose to do here… or anywhere outside of my cabin...” He breathed into Kaidan’s ear.

“Outside of your cabin? Have we ever done anything _inside_ your cabin?”

“Not yet, but maybe we can get there… right now if you like.” Shepard placed hand on Kaidan’s waist.

“Do you want to do it with me or do you prefer your shuttle pilot?” Kaidan pushed Shepard away a little.

“You’re mad at me, because I flirted with Steve?”

“Flirted? You were about to put your tongue in his throat!”

“But I didn’t, did I?” Shepard defended himself. “I stopped because I rather do it with you.”

“Make up your mind, Shepard!” Kaidan suddenly pulled him closer to him. “Don’t make a fool out of yourself by fucking across the Normandy! It’s either me and someone else… but certainly not me and someone else...”

“Uh… Major, I like it when you’re angry.” Shepard smirked and kissed Kaidan suddenly. It was a short and emotionless kiss. Hard and rough, but it still tasted sweeter than any wine he could get on the Citadel. “Make up your mind, Kaidan. If you want me, come to me and I’ll give it to you, but I have enough of the teasing you’re giving me!”

“Teasing? What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, don’t play the innocent. The others might think of you of the upright and shy soldier, but I know you’re a beast under the sheets! I know you better than the others, you want me and you’re waiting for me to do the first step!”

“Please Shepard, don't flatter yourself too much.” Kaidan said annoyed. “Why are you here?”

“What do you think, why I was tempted by Steve? Do you know how hard it is for me to walk around the ship and seeing you sending me all this hints?”

“What hints?” Kaidan scoffed.

“You, lunch, licking your finger with the cream on it?” Shepard pushed Kaidan towards the bench where he put his gun. “You, yesterday down in the armoury, how you bend over the workbench. Don’t tell me it’s because couldn’t get a chair. And all the gazes and little smiles you’re giving me, not to mention how you touch me _unintended_ , when you walk past me. C’mon Kaidan, I know you were doing it on purpose.”

Kaidan froze for a moment, looking for words of defence, but when he couldn’t he sighed and breathed out and kissed Shepard hard on the lips.

“And what about you, Shepard!” Kaidan lifted himself on the bench and pulled Shepard closer to himself, and starting to undo Shepard’s shirt. “You with your muscle shirt at workout on Monday! What was wrong with the normal uniform? And your hoodie! I know exactly you’re not wearing anything underneath it.” Kaidan took off Shepard’s shirt and pulled Shepard’s face towards him for another kiss. This kiss was long and wet, tender and passionate. Shepard sucked on Kaidan’s lips and bit it until it hurts. Then Kaidan pushed Shepard away a little.

 

First Shepard was surprised when Kadian did it, but when he saw he only did it to take off his own shirt. He smirked. “So, you are checking me out.” He kissed Kaidan’s shoulder and neck. “Did you like the show I put on for you yesterday?”

“You mean cleaning your armour in your underwear?” Kaidan gave him a reproachful look and undid his pants. “Yeah, I liked it, until it hurt.”

“Oh, Major, you did it, too. That how all this started.” Shepard smiled like stupid and followed Kaidan’s example. He was hard as rock when Kaidan laid hand upon him again and let their cloth fall to the ground. He pulled Kaidan closer to the edge of the table that only supposed to be holding a gun and few rounds of bullets and licked his finger. “Last time I promised you I would show you that I’m more than a button. Tell me you want it.”

Kaidan spread his legs and leaned back for Shepard. “Oh yes, I want it. I want all what you promised.”

“Your wish is my command!” Shepard answered and wet Kaidan with his fingers.

Shepard was tough as he promised, and tender as not expected. It felt like desire in his kiss, possession in his touch and strength in his thrusts. He put Kaidan’s legs on his shoulder so he could go deeper and Kadian grabbed on the edge of the table to pull himself closer. The shooting range was filled with their heavy breathing and grunting. He moaned when he felt the trembling. Kaidan's manhood bounced off his belly in the rhythm of Shepard's thrust and he was forced to take it into his own hand. Few thrusts and movement later, Shepard released himself with a long grunt closely followed by Kaidan.

 

“You’re a good fuck, Kaidan.” He bend over to kiss him. “Your ass is spectacular...”

Kaidan raised his head to return the kiss before falling back on the table from exhaustion. “I don’t remember much from the night in Omega, but I think I was pretty spectacular there...”

Shepard let Kaidan’s legs fall from the side. “Yes, you were…”

They enjoyed the tenderness for a while and when Shepard contracted his sixpack, his cock moved inside Kaidan making him moan.

“This is what I like,” Shepard started, placing slow and soft kisses on Kaidan’s body.

“What?”

“Being with you. This is the peace I want, the heavenly silence I seek.” He gave Kaidan a deep longing kiss. “The world stops spinning and time stands still when I’m close to you.”

“Close to me?” Kaidan laughed with his hoarse voice. “You’re still inside me!” He pulled Shepard closer for another kiss. “Hey, don’t get me wrong when I say it so, Shepard. I like it, too. You have this strange spell cast on me, I can’t take my eyes from you, I can’t take my mind off you and I’m this close,” Kaidan made a gap with his fingers. “I’m this close from falling in love with you.”

Shepard smiled a little but didn’t answer. He slowly pulled himself out and started getting dressed.

 

Kaidan signed and climbed off the table. He gathered his cloth and put them on without being a little ashamed. The Spectre Shooting Range was certainly not meant for these kind of actions. He ordered his uniform and Shepard stepped close to him, stroking his face softly. “What’s wrong with falling in love with me?” He asked softly after kissing him tender another time.

“There is nothing wrong with it...” Kaidan smiled. “It’s just not what I planned. I didn’t intend it to happen and I certainly doesn’t want to start a relationship in war times… Shepard… we are marines, we know death is on our doorstep. I don’t want to get emotionally compromised because...”

“Because we could die anytime? I know what you’re saying.” Shepard hold him tight. “If it’s nothing you want, than don’t. We don’t have to do all this boyfriends stuff. I just like being close to you...”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Kaidan smiled.

A few kisses later they walked towards the door. Before they went outside, Shepard grabbed Kaidan’s ass and pulled him again for a kiss. “Just because we are not boyfriends, we still bang, okay?” He said smirking.

“I won’t want to miss that...” Kaidan replied and grabbed Shepard’s crotch.

 

 


	4. Victory at any cost

“Victory… at any cost”

Those words were stuck in Kaidan’s head. The Turian lieutenant sacrificed his life for the sake of millions and he didn’t even hesitate for a second. Kaidan sighed. His mood was in a strange grasp of old memories and without intention his thoughts went back several years to the last time he saw Ashley Williams, not knowing what fate had in petto for her.   
The shuttle had become a silent place, no one felt like talking and the strange silence of death had caught all of them. Joker’s voice came out of the speakers and Kaidan was glad, when Shepard answered, short and quick. 

“Whatever he was before, he’ll be remembered for this.” Kaidan heard Garrus speaking and nodded with him. 

Death is upon all of us. Kaidan whispered without anyone actually understand him and warned himself not to give in into those hopeless thoughts. But it felt hard not to. Silently he started to count the unending list of friends, comrades and family he had lost in this war and suddenly he felt an urge to destroy and give into blood-lust, wanting to see the life of every husk, marauders and banshees ripped their bodies.

 

Soon the docked on the Normandy and one after another jumped out of the shuttle, welcomed by the crew on board, handing over them water and other refreshments. Kaidan didn’t feel like moving, he didn’t want to get up and have people knocking on his shoulder, asking how he was doing. He didn’t know if he would be able to lie about his feelings. 

He was feeling miserable. It was in moments like these, when he felt the heavy burden of a soldier. He knew why he was fighting; he reminded himself every night of it before he lay down to rest, but… But sometimes it was very hard to keep to this integrity. He must fight the hate, if he let hate consume him and lead his way, he might just be no better than reapers. 

Kaidan didn’t notice the sound of Shepard’s metal gear rattle on the shuttle floor until his feet forced into his view. He looked up into the caring face of Shepard. His eyes sang the same song of sadness, but if he was feeling the same directionless anger as himself, Shepard hid it well. He reached out a hand. 

“C’mon, soldier,” His voice sounded calm but driven. “Let’s get out of those armours.”

“Go ahead… I’ll be right behind you.” Kaidan answered. Either it was his voice or his behavior that revealed his mood, Shepard sat down wordlessly next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” 

“I’ve been thinking about Ash...” Kaidan started and then closed his mouth. He didn’t feel to speak out his mind. And there was no need. 

Shepard pulled him closer and let his head rest on his shoulder. “Yeah… me too.” He then reached out the arm to push the button and the shuttle door closed. The door sheltered them from the light on the docking deck and only lit by few dim and cold lights. Shepard raised his head and bumped with his forehead against Kaidan’s. 

“Hope and a fighting chance, this is what you always say, Shepard. I’m wondering when we have the end of this tunnel in sight… How many do we have to lose until we see the light? And how many of us will make it to the end… ”

“Not all of us...” Shepard answered honestly. “But if we look back, we’re lost. Cheer up, soldier...” Shepard put his fingertip under Kaidan’s chin and lifted his face. His eyes were wet from tears about to leave his eye corners. “I know what you’re thinking… I know you’re asking yourself what if all the sacrifices are in vain…” 

Shepard waited for Kaidan to give him an answer. The major nodded subtle and Shepard continued. “We will not all make it to the end. This is war, and in war there is only one thing that matters. The victory. At any cost!”

“Also at the cost of our mind?” Kaidan blinked couple times and the tears in his eyes cleared out. “I’m asking, what if you save the galaxy and then realize you've lost your mind on the way? So many sorrow and sadness out there, and with the war and death on our doorstep, can we hope to survive it at all?” Kaidan felt the blood starting to rush in him. He felt its heat on his face. Whatever he wanted or not, those words left his mouth and he couldn’t stop. 

“Victory at any cost, Kaidan.“ Shepard stood up. “That’s the only thing the galaxy needs.”

“And what about us? The people who are fighting to achieve it? What if we crumble?”

“We don’t!” Shepard replied fast. “The people are relying on us, we can’t fail. And what if we crumble? That’s a good question…” The Commander sighed and helped Kaidan on his feet. “I don’t know, Kaidan; But all what we can do is getting there, step by step. Tell me what you need.”

“Shepard, it’s not only about me!” 

“But you’re here and I’m here. Talk to me, speak it out. Maybe you’ll feel better afterwards.”

“Speak out what?” Kaidan signed. “It’s not like we can change it anytime sooner.”

“Doesn’t it mean it worthless to talk about it?” Shepard came closer and put a hand on his face. “Kaidan, I know how you feel. We both went through Ash’s death and it hit us both hard. I saw the same people die as you and their death left a mark on my heart as deep on yours. But we can’t let it be an anchor to us. The galaxy is depending on us, they expect us to protect them and they expect us to do the right thing. What we personally feel doesn’t matter….” 

“It does sometimes matter, Shepard. What if you crumble? I’m just a soldier behind you, a man among thousands. But you, you’re the hope of us all. How do you carry this burden?”

“Carry it at any cost, I guess.” Shepard hesitated. “Decision need to be made and I have to stand behind it.”

Have you never asked yourself how it would be different if you made the decision differently?”

“No! And I can’t afford questioning it. If I look back, I’m lost. Look into the future, the one we could have when all this is over.” Shepard tightened the grip on Kaidan’s face and his voiced started to tremble. “Think of the house we will have in Vancouver, think of the beers we will drink on the balcony. Think of the things we will do when this is over. Don’t look back!” 

Kaidan swiped away Shepard’s hand on his face and flung his arms around Shepard’s neck. “John, it’s not the past I’m afraid of! It’s the future. Thinking of what still lies in front of us… thinking of the war and the people who might die! And thinking about I might maybe lose you one day on the battlefield!” Kaidan spoke with a shaking voice. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you… it drives me crazy!”

“You won’t lose me,” Shepard stroke Kaidan’s head and kissed him side on his face. “I’m not that easy to kill!” 

It felt good when Shepard’s lips touched his skin. His lips were dry and the thin skin cracked open. The hot and sandy environment on Tuchanka had demand a lot from them. But the simple touch made him already feel safer. Kaidan closed his eyes to focus on the feel and enjoy the gesture. When Shepard took his lips away he could bring back a smile upon his face. The two of them remained in the embrace and Kaidan wanted to press Shepard to him as much as possible. Shepard smelled like man-sweat, soot and blood. Simply said Shepard smelled like war. When he look back, this smell on him had surrounded him for years and he couldn’t think of once he didn’t carry it with him. 

Shepard stroked his head again and gave him another small kiss on the cheek. “Head up, Kaidan, we are not dead yet.”

“Then...” Kaidan whispered. “Make me feel alive, John.”

Shepard froze a little but then started kissing him. They had done it after every ground mission. No matter if they just investigated an empty outpost or a brutal fight with bloody casualties; no matter how exhausted it was or how bloody they were, they needed like a ritual. But they had never done it right after the mission. “Here?” Shepard answered when he realize Kaidan was serious about it. 

“Now and here. If my mind is really upon death, I want at least my body feel alive.” Kaidan whispered again and started taking off his armor parts. Shepard hesitated a little, looked around and then joined in. 

They were fast and soon Kaidan had pushed Shepard to the wall of the Shuttle, with a hand between his legs. He rubbed it and kissed Shepard’s chest. He liked the salty taste on his lips when he moved over his skin and heard the silenced moan of Shepard.   
The Commander was busy with his hands on Kaidan’s ass and gasping for air when Kaidan tightened his fingers. They had gotten rid of the biggest parts of their armor and with their uniform shoved up to the chest or the pants down to their knees; they were ready to celebrate life.

Kaidan rushed into his beloved with the same fury he would have rushed into battle and the whimper of Shepard gave him the same satisfaction when he emptied his round into a husk. The act itself didn’t take long. After few more thrusts Kaidan breathed out with a relieving sign and let Shepard go. The commander turned around, leaning against the cold wall, breathed heavily. The kinky smile upon his face was sign enough for Kaidan to do his job and he knelt down as his lover silently commanded.   
He satisfied Shepard willingly until all muscles on Shepard’s body contracted, giving him the sign of upcoming pinnacle. Shepard placed both his hands on Kaidan’s head and directed his speed to extend the feel before he unleashed his seed in him. 

“How are you feeling now?” Shepard asked short breathed. 

“Dirty… but better.” Kaidan went up on his feet and gave Shepard a small kiss. “I really needed it.”

“I noticed...” Shepard nodded. 

“Did it hurt?” Kaidan asked a little ashamed while closed his pants and then helped Shepard closing his.   
“Nothing I can’t take...” Shepard smiled wide and kissed Kaidan long.

They tenderly snogged a while longer until they felt, they had stayed in the shuttle too long. They unwillingly stopped and barely could take their hands off each other. 

“C’mon, K. We need to go. Hackett is definitely waiting for my report.” Shepard said while gathering his armor parts.

Kaidan did the same but without bending over, displacing himself for a show. Shepard bit his lips but resisted. “This will end badly...” Shepard said and Kaidan turned around to give him a teasing smile. Then Shepard dropped whatever he was holding in his hands and pressed him to his chest, so tight Kaidan could feel the air lacking in his lungs. “God! I’ll lose my mind without you!” 

“I think it’s on mutual bases...” Kaidan answered and wanted to come closer for another kiss when the door slit open and James peaked inside. 

They two of them inside quickly stepped away from each other and pretend they were doing nothing bad. Shepard grabbed the next armor piece he could find and wanted to gather the rest when he noticed he had picked up Kaidan’s breastplate and Kaidan’s was holding his crotch plate in his hand. 

“James… I was just asking Kaidan to check a leak in my armor… and...” Shepard tumbled over his own tongue on his way finding for words but the soldier seemed not to care. 

James just shrugged with his shoulder. “Commander, Admiral Hackett is available on vid-comm.” And then he disappeared through the door. 

Shepard changed his plate with Kaidan. “You think we might be too obvious?”

Kaidan pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. “We are running out of places… why is this ship full of people?”

“You wanna try the vid comm, again? I could book it for tonight and we meet there...” Shepard joked and Kaidan chuckled. 

“Better not. Maybe the community shower still is the best spot...” Kaidan had collected all the pieces in the shuttle and put them back on his body. It might look strange if he walked out of the shuttle half in armor with the rest of the big chunks in his arms. 

Shepard followed his example and they jumped out of the shuttle. “We could always use my cabin...”

“John, we talked about this. I don’t want to put this, whatever it is between us on display. I don’t want people asking questions, why the both of us need to write reports together and work long nights. Two Alliance officers and Spectre sticking their heads together for too long, the crew might start speculating, you know...” Kaidan walked towards the elevator.

“Fucking soldiers!” Shepard cursed. “Only thing worse in gossiping are sailors!”

“Just, we are kind of sailors...” They entered the elevator and the door closed. “You know, we are hired on a ship!”

Shepard chuckled and pulled Kaidan closer for a kiss. “Well then, come here, you little space pirate!”

“Sailor! Not pirate!” Kaidan whispered before his words died out in Shepard’s kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard drank the last drop if his daily glass and finished reading Anderson’s report on the situation on earth. They had stabilized the zone around London and every day more and more people reporting for duty. People were holding together and it looked like, in Shanghai, the Alliance was actually able to push back the enemy a little and gained control of a strategically important area. 

All together it was good news, news he wanted to share with Kaidan immediately. When his thoughts went over to Kaidan, the warm and gentle smile of him appeared in his mind, closely followed by filthy images how they stole time together. Shepard put a hand inside his pants and leaned back. He closed his eyes and pictured Kaidan, sitting on his lap, putting his tongue deep in his throat and using his big and strong hands to claim his flesh. The thoughts of his lover made him hard as stone.   
He hadn’t seen Kaidan for a while now. Since their last discretion in the shuttle, it was probably the best, they avoid each other for a while. And on top of that, the strange flu they caught on their last citadel visit had cost him a few work force, so Kaidan had to jump into on shifts lately. He saw him the day before yesterday in the war room and beside a knowing smile from Kaidan, he didn’t get anything else. The more he thought of him, the more his body demanded to be released of this tension. Shepard moved his hand faster.

“God... K...” he moaned. 

He imagined himself thrusting into Kaidan and his lover moaned out of joy and asked for more and harder thrusts. He pictured Kaidan sitting on the edge of his bed while he himself crawled over the floor to him and slowly taking Kaidan’s cock into his mouth. Shepard opened his mouth and formed an O. He recalled the feeling how it was, when Kaidan last fucked his wet mouth and the sensation going simply from his mind towards his cock made him whimper. 

He unzipped his pants, pulled out his hard cock and masturbated fast. He called up the pictures on his console Kaidan had send him and imagined, how Kaidan licked his own lips while thrusting into his mouth, and stroke his head and sank his fingers into his short hair. He recalled the sound of Kaidan’s moaning and his occasional broken syllable of his name. 

Shepard’s eyes were fixed on the pictures on his console. Although they managed to fuck after missions, Shepard still had to fall back to daily masturbation just to keep his head clear. 

He kept looking at the picture and furiously moved up and down on his dick. Then a message blinked on his console telling him, his shift in the war room is about to start in five minutes. 

“Fuck!” Shepard cursed. He wanted to finish but the thought of an eight hour shift had taken the lust from him. With four men short because of the strange flu, even the Commander had to jump in. Shepard closed his pants and stood up. “God-dammed!”  
Shepard reached the War room with a fresh brewed coffee in his hand. When he entered, the corporal having the last shift together with Kaidan came up to him, telling him, she really didn’t mind to do a double shift. 

“No, it’s okay. You should go get some rest. I can take over from here.” Shepard said smiling and sent her off. 

He put down his coffee mug and started checking all the systems and reports when Kaidan walked out from the vid-comm and stopping at his side. “It’s just the two of us here…” he said and leaned close to Shepard. “I could also do a double shift.” He smiled kinky.

“Mhmmm, nice Idea, just the two of us here.” Shepard leaned in for a kiss. 

“You smell like sweat, Shepard…” He narrowed his eyes. “What did you do?” 

“Jerking off in my room…” Shepard lied. “Didn’t know there would just be the two of us… otherwise I would have saved it for you.” Shepard pressed his lips on Kaidan and the Major kissed him tenderly. 

“Liar…” Kaidan whispered between the kisses. “You know it would be the two of us…”

“Okay, you got me.” Shepard laughed. “I know you’ve already done a double shift… go and get some rest.” He stroked Kaidan’s arm softly and pushed him towards the door. “I called James to do the shift with me.”

“Such a shame... I always wanted to have night shift with him… now you get him alone.” Kaidan joked and Shepard gave him a smack on his ass. 

“You want James?” Shepard suddenly pushed Kaidan to the wall and stood close to him. “Tell me you're not serious?” 

“I don’t know? I kind of like the idea of sucking James’s cock.” Kaidan smiled kinky and licked his lips demonstratively. “Or Commander, would you like to have me and James serving under you?” 

Shepard shook his head and bit his lips, but he couldn’t deny the temptation in Kaidan’s words. “You dirty bastard,” Shepard kissed Kaidan and pressed himself hard on him. “Am I not enough for you?” 

“Of course you are…” Kaidan let go of his tease and put his arms around Shepard’s shoulder. “Don’t be stupid… I was just joking.” 

“Off with you, James must be here any moments.” Shepard let go of Kaidan and returned to the war desk. 

Few minutes later, James showed up right on time for his shift. With him he brought EDI with him. Shepard looked up surprised and the AI stepped forward. 

“Commander, I am capable of standby in the war room. I understand humans must rest while I don’t.” She said and stepped up to Shepard. 

“What about the cockpit? Doesn’t Joker need you there?” Shepard looked at her and then James. 

“Jeff had gone back to the quarters so my presence in the cockpit is not required anymore. Commander, as the ship’s AI I can observe anything.” She nodded to James. “I have registered an increasing stress level since the soldiers became ill. I assume is it related to the immense amount of work time.” 

“Okay if you say so.” Shepard answered and looked over to James. “So, James, you can go then.”

The LT saluted and went back to ease position. “What about you, sir?”

“I have some business to attend personally. But it’s a relief to know I don’t have to stay here for the next eight hours.” 

“Yes sir!” And James left. 

Shepard returned to his business and gazed few time over to EDI, who just seemed to stand by the war table and doing nothing. He understand the shift in the War room was actually maintaining calls, mails and other Alliance stuff, but the AI seemed not have to move to get access to all the system. Shepard wished he could have the same power. His work was quickly done. Two hours later, he handed all over to EDI.   
Early off duty Shepard felt suddenly the downtime he just gained. The shift was planned for him and for few days, it was the first time, he walked away from work still have energy left to do anything. Suddenly the idea came to him, maybe Kaidan hadn’t gone to bed yet, maybe he was still awake in the Starboard Observation where he usually enjoyed a sip of some booze and read a little before going. The excitement started to grow inside him. It could be he finally could steal some time with Kaidan, that both of them are awake at the same time and off duty at the same time. 

Shepard took the elevator down to the crew quarter instead up to his own cabin. Right after he walked out he could hear the muffled laughter coming from the Starboard Observation. Shepard narrowed his eyes a little and walked towards it. He asked himself if someone else was there and when the door opened the automatically, the laughter died immediately and all looked over to the door. 

“Hey!!!” James, Steve and Garrus cheered together and Sam and Tali immediately squeezed a little to make room for Shepard on the couch. Shepard looked down on the mixed group all with their console open and all of them sitting around a data pad in the middle of the table. He looked closely towards pad and saw a turntable. 

“Commander!” James said again. “Come and play with us!” 

He looked over the crowd and saw Samantha, Steve, Jams, Garrus, Tali, Liara and Kaidan. He stopped at Kaidan and when the major gave him a sign for him to sit down, Shepard slowly moved towards the couch. “I can see the turntable, if this is some sort of spin the bottle, I’m out.” He sat down and Steve handed him a beer. 

“No! Don’t worry!” Kaidan said and leaned back in his chair. “Liara found it on the extranet. It’s called “Shakes the bear!” An educational game.”

Liara was standing with Steve in the middle of the room and when Shepard sat down, she turned away from Steve and towards Shepard. “I’ll explain. I was learning about the human poetry when I stumble upon this game. The application is represented by a bear you need to shake. And it sends you text of a scene from a play of Shakespeare, the great poet of your people.”

“Shakes the bear, Shakespeare… you know, Commander?” James added.

“Seriously?” Shepard tried not to laugh at the flat joke but he had to chuckle when looked at the bear on Sam’s console, dressed in 17th century outfit with ridiculous big hat with feathers. When you shake it, the hat falls off and a piece of paper fell from it and shows you the play, act and scene number. “It looks very educational.”

“It is. I was not sure what I was supposed to do when I consulted Steve, turned out he knew about it and so did Kaidan. And this is how we end up.” She then turned to Steve. “I was my turn and the game chooses a random scene from the many plays of Shakespeare. I must read the first part, which in my case is… Cleopatra. I understand, she was a queen of a mighty country and the play is about her love with a general called Antony.” 

Shepard sipped on his beer and nodded. “You learn fast about our history.”

“And now I need a person to read another part, and the turntable will tell me who it will be.” She pointed at the turntable. “In my case, it chose Steve.”

“Okay, sounds interesting.” Shepard took another gulp of beer and looked around. “Keep going, don’t let me interrupt you.” 

The crowd laughed and Liara and Steve returned to their play. Shepard followed the text on his own console after he had downloaded and had to admit, just by listening to the text, he wouldn’t be able to understand the plot. Steve and Liara were playing the first scene of the first act and it seemed, they were talking about Antony’s wife.

Shepard had heard the name Marc Antony, but that’s about it. Although Steve wasn’t the great Roman General Shepard would expect, his chemistry with Liara was quite stunning. 

“Excellent Falsehood!” Liara read out her part. “Why did he marry Fulvia, and not love her? I’ll seem the fool I am not. Antony will be himself.” She finished less angry then the text suggested. And suddenly Liara stumbled on the ground to mark her anger. Shepard assumed she had over read the word angry written after the line of text. 

Steve read his part angry in the beginning when he spoke the words “But stirred by Cleopatra.” But changed his tone and went from strong to teasing. He spoke of soft hours and not confound the time with conference harsh. There’s not a minute of our lives should stretch without some pleasure now. What sport tonight?

What true words. Shepard thought. He does not need to follow the text to understand it. That Antony was stealing words from his mind. He glanced over to Kaidan and thought of the similar situation. It was war upon them and they shouldn’t waste any more time without amusement. 

Kaidan noticed his glance and turned to him. He eyes told him not to do this here but his smile said he was enjoying it. He hinted for Shepard to look over to the “stage” and turned from him.

“Hear the ambassadors!” Liara said it with her usual soft tone like she used to whisper “Commander” into Shepard’s ear. Well she wasn’t an actress and it was okay for her to lack the pathos. 

Steve took over and let Liara’s voice die in his passionate play. He expressed Antony’s love to Cleopatra and admiration. He did it well, Shepard thought. When they exited the stage, the crowd clapped and gave them acknowledgment. 

“I understand why this is educational…” Shepard leaned back and nodded to Steve. “Love makes men blind and act like a fool, even Marc Antony was no difference.”

“Do you need Shakespeare to tell you that?” Kaidan added and smirked. 

“Yeah, you don’t need some dead poet for that,” James said. “Just look at Garrus…” 

The crowd laughed. Garrus nodded and raised his glass to James. “Kaidan, when you shake the bear, could you chose a scene where someone gets stabbed, so I can volunteer?”

The crowd laughed again and Kaidan shook the console. “I’ll try.”

The bear on everybody’s screen started to tumble and eventually fell down. Then the page fell from his head and the play was shown. “Romeo and Juliet. Act I Scene V. Please choose Juliet.” 

“No!” Kaidan said and laughed. “I’m certainly not the type for Romeo?”

“Why not?” Sam yelled through the laughing crowd. “I think Major Romeo suits you well.” 

“Okay, if you like it so much, I challenge you to be my Juliet!” Kaidan said walking over to the more empty space. 

“No way!” Samantha yelled. “I don’t want to kiss a man!” 

“Who said you have to kiss him?” Shepard yelled and laughed amused. 

Sam looked at him. “The play. Act I scene V, the famous first kiss of Rome and Juliet.” She looked around into the empty faces of the people and quickly added. “Ex-girlfriend used to love Shakespeare.” 

Shepard felt a sudden drop in his chest. He checked the text now also papering on his console and saw the emotion help “Romeo kisses her”. “Well you don’t really have to do it, right?”

“You do.” Tali added. “It’s a rule of the play. Acts out all emotions. Also very educational!”

Sam leaned back already. “I’m not playing Juliet unless the needle stops at me.” She said laughing and Kaidan tapped on the data-pad for the turntable. The needle rotated fast and Shepard’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know how he would react if he sees Kaidan kissing someone else. He was checking the text to see if they need to kiss more than once when the crowd all yelled in an “ohhhhh!” and exploded in laughter. He looked up and starred into faces looking at him. Then Kaidan was already at his side. 

“May I ask, Commander Juliet?” He held a hand towards Shepard and smiled down. 

“What… what?” Shepard looked up confused. 

“Commander Juliet, Major Romeo is asking.” Sam added and sipped on his beer. 

“No!” Shepard added. “I’m no good at this.”

“None of us is… maybe beside of Steve.” Kaidan added. “His Antony is quite impressive.” 

Shepard tried few more times to refuse, but by the urging of the crowd, he eventually stood up and walked towards Kaidan. He stood stiff and Kaidan chuckled at the sight of his pose. 

Kaidan walked slowly towards him, taking his hand softly and looked Shepard deep in the eyes. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough tough with a tender kiss.” 

Shepard looked at him blunt with big open eyes. “What?”

“That’s not how Juliet should answer!” Yelled Steve. 

Shepard looked around and then with a “oh, sorry” he looked down on the console. “Good pilgrim,” he started reading, stiff and emotionless. “you do wrong your hands too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss.” Then he followed the emotion helpers and awkwardly held Kaidan’s hand. Then he turned to the crowd. “I don’t even understand what it means; really I’m no good at this.”  
“Then it’s time to educate you!” Liara said. “He’s trying to steal a kiss from you.”

“Oh…” Shepard answered and looked back to the smiling Kaidan. “Don’t smile like an idiot! This is not how you get a girl’s kiss.”

The crowd laughed and the major came closer to him and played with his fingers in Shepard’s hand. “Have no saints lips, and holy palmers too?” He read the text like he already knew them and his eyes starred into Shepard’s.   
“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.” He read and slowly started to understand.

Kaidan stepped one foot to another and sometimes bid his own lips, showing clearly his intention. “O, then, dear saint. Let lips do what hands do. They prey; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” He leaned in for a kiss, so close it almost touched Shepard. But the Commander dodged it and looked nervously around. Then he waited for Kaidan to deliver his next line until Kaidan hinted him to look down on his console. 

“Oh… It’s my turn… Saints do not move, though grant for prayer’s sake.” Shepard read out, this time with a little more emotion. For he started to understand the flirt between Romeo and Juliet, he found amusement in it.

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” Kaidan breathed out and came closer. Shepard stood like someone had put a stick up his ass and just let Kaidan come closer to him. He thought Kaidan’s had forgotten his words, but before he wanted to look on the console for help, Kaidan had put his lips on his. 

The touch of those warm and smooth lips sent adrenaline through his body. He didn’t notice the sudden silence in the room and slowly he closed his eyes and tasted the good pilgrim’s lips. Then Kaidan took off his lips and breathed out. “Thus from my lips, by thine, my sins I purged.”

Shepard stood there shocked, looking into Kaidan’s eyes and then breathed out. He shook his head and looked up the text. “Then have my lips the sin that they have took.” He read word for word without knowing its meaning. 

“Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” Kaidan said and grabbed Shepard for another kiss. Shepard automatically put both his hands on Kaidan’s face and gave in. He missed the taste of his lips some much, although the last kiss was barely three hours in. He missed the feel of Kaidan’s warm face in his palm and the feel of tingling beard on his own skin. Kaidan also couldn’t stop once he was caught within the grasp. The two of them tumbled trough the room until Shepard bumped against the wall and pulling Kaidan closer to him. 

The crowed watched this with shocked faces and they looked at each other. None of them knew what to say and what to do but looking Shepard feverishly demanding Kaidan’s kiss. 

“Madam!” Sam read the line of the nurse. “Your mother craves a word with you.” 

But Shepard didn’t listen. Taking by Shepard never read Rome and Juliet before; he might not even know that this line follows Juliet’s state of Romeo being a good kisser. 

“Well, I guess Commander Juliet had found his Major Romeo and until the lark, they will not part.” Sam added and sighed. She emptied her beer and stood up. “Guess that’s it for all of us. The lovebirds are busy.” She started to shoo the people away. “Give them some space…”

She walked for the door with the rest of them following her. James didn't want to leave, but Steve gave him a gentle push. 

“What just happened?” Sam asked when the door closed behind them and all of them were outside. “Shepard and Kaidan? Is this for real?”

Liara shrugged her shoulder. Garrus and Tali looked at each other and also shrugged. Then the Turian asked. “I wonder who of them is playing the female part. I’m not quite sure about the mating ritual of two male human. Can someone enlighten me?”  
“That educational stuff you can look up on the extranet.” Steve replied fast. 

“Steve, you had a lot experience with mating with males, what would you say, who of them is the woman?” The Turian didn’t want to let go. 

“C’mon, Garrus. How should I know?” The shuttle pilot answered. 

“It’s Kaidan!” James said loud. 

“How do you know?” Steve asked. 

“Well I saw them!” James crossed the arms in front of his chest. “I saw Kaidan sucking off the Commander.”

“That doesn’t make him the bottom.” Steve added. 

Samantha suddenly jumped between them and looked at James. “Wait what? You saw them? When? Where?”

“Once in the shuttle and once in the shower.” James didn’t even try to keep it to himself. 

Sam opened her eyes wide. “You clearly saw them do stuff?” 

“No… well in the shuttle I caught them half naked, but they seemed to be done already. And in the shower, I saw Shepard standing and Kaidan was kneeling in front of him, I guess that’s pretty clear what was happening.”

“Wait, you saw them in the shuttle?” Steve cut him off. “They fucked in my shuttle?”

“I guess so? I guess they fucked everywhere on the ship!” James added. “I’m not the only one who saw them!”

“What do you mean?” Sam looked around into the faces of the round. “Who else had caught them before?”

An awkward silence grew between them and slowly Liara raised a hand. “I caught them in the vid-comm before.”

“Well, I’m not sure what I saw, but I think I saw them making out in purgatory toilet before.” Steve said. 

Samantha breathed out and shook her head. “Okay I’m not crazy then. Because… I thought I was dreaming…”

“What did you see?” Garrus asked. “Well… it was already really late that night, and I heard voices so I went looking…”

“Come to the point. What did you see?” Tali asked. 

“Well… I saw two people standing in front of the galaxy map. On the podium where normally only Shepard stood, and they were… well for god’s sake. They were fucking like hell.” She blushed and looked down. “I seemed to be so unreal, I thought I was dreaming.”

“Okay, so just two people. So it could be anyone. Not necessarily Kaidan and Shepard.” James added. “We have other men on board…”

Sam raised a hand to hint she wanted to say something. “You’re right, it could be anyone. We have a lot of dark haired men on board and basically everyone is wearing Alliance uniform. But…” she made a pause. “I think Shepard is the only one with a N7 hoodie and Kaidan is the only biotic beside Shepard. Well, it was clearly not Liara standing behind Shepard.”

“How do you know he was biotic?” Liara asked.

“He was glowing blue.” Sam said dry and gave her a just-believe-me glance.

The round stood together and looking awkward at each other. “So…” Liara said after a little while. “I think we should keep it for us… we don’t want everyone to know this right?”

“Sure…” Garrus said sarcastically. “We can keep it a secret for them, but can they?” He hinted to the door. “If you keep on going like this… everyone will know what they’re doing. Besides, the flirts aren’t actually subtle.”

“Still… It’s not our business. And if…” She was cut off by a loud bump against the door. All of them turned around and heard the bump again. 

They walked over fast and all of them pressed their ear against the door.


End file.
